Suddenly Sharon

I can remember so clearly ( which believe me these days is no small feat) lying in a hospital bed many, many, many (damn I’m old , look at how many “manys” I had to use to make this historically accurate) years ago. The sun was shining through the window making a cold impersonal hospital room feel somewhat homey. Nicole, who was not quite two at the time, was trying desperately to climb into my bed so she could get a look at the kid who she was now going to have to share Mommy and Daddy with. Funny, she really didn’t seem to mind her at all, at least that day. Their relationship over the last eighteen years has been pretty good, at least it is good for two people who couldn’t be more different if they tried. They are sisters in every sense of the word , they fight with a good deal of zest and they defend each other with the same amount of emotion.
I can see so vividly Nicole in her little pink Osh Kosh overalls and her soft blonde hair next to me in that bed as she gently rubbed her new playmate's cheek. I looked down at my beautiful new almost 10 pound baby and thought....ouch!!! (Haha you thought I was going to go to the sappy place didn’t you... I like to mix it up at times..O.K. but now I have to be serious.) I remember thinking about her life and how amazing it was going to be. ( If I didn’t screw it up.) I was going to get to watch this beautiful little girl take her first step, go to her first day of school. I was going to participate in mother/daughter shopping therapy at the mall. I wondered about her first love, and hoped my comfort during her first heartache would help. I went through her whole life as I held her and tried to keep Nicole from sticking her finger in her eye. Her prom, (Adding up the cost of four prom dresses for both my little princesses, made me realize my maternity leave was going to be a short one) her graduation from High School and finally her wedding day. I could picture so clearly that beautiful child in white as she walked down the isle to the boy she had chosen as “The One”. What I never imagined is that “That” day that seemed so far away would come so quickly.
Sammi grew up much faster than I ever expected. She turned into the “little Devil” of the family. Where Nicole was girly and soft spoken (a trait she too would later grow out of), Sammi was brash and owned the room the moment she walked into it. She had and has to this day a smile that just lights up any space. She invites you in as you talk to her, a trait she didn’t inherit from her mother, who tends to be much more reserved .
While Nicole loved cheerleading and school and chorus, Sammi excelled in swimming and played softball and field hockey. Nicole as a child loved the “Little Mermaid”, while Sammi loved the “Ninja Turtles”. While Nicole would always choose the princess costumes at Halloween, Sammi much preferred the boys costumes. I watched and advised when I could as she got through middle school and dealt with all the issues that the young girls seem to have to deal with these days. She was never a fan of school and struggled as her sister seemed to excel at all she tried. I watched and loved her as she grew into a lovely, honest and kind young woman. Proud of her and all she had done every step of the way.
One day a few months ago I found myself in a room full of tule and mirrors and tiaras, as we pulled dress after dress for my little “ninja turtle” to try on. We narrowed the field down to two and then eventually to one, the one she will wear in December when she does take that important walk down the aisle. I watched as she smiled at herself in the mirror, loving every inch of the satin and taffeta that flowed from the “Bride” stand she was perched on. My eyes started to fill with tears and the teasing from both Sammi and Nicole commenced. I didn’t care, I had earned those tears and was going to indulge in every last one of them. With the exception of the three babies I have had the privilege of raising, I had never seen anyone as beautiful as that sweet young girl standing there in a dress of white.
What surprised me is that as quickly as I saw her whole life before my eyes on that day so long ago in the hospital, I once again saw her whole life and was back in that hospital just as quickly on this day. The similarities were remarkable, Sammi was wrapped in white and Nicole was itching to climb up and get a look and I was crying tears of joy, fear and excitement. Life had once again come full circle, and I was still left wondering where the time had gone, and what the future would hold for her, for Nicole, for Emily and for me as well. I thought to myself, as mothers do, we never really leave the serenity of that hospital room.